Steam Trains

I say, let's bring back steam trains. Would anybody REALLY be opposed to this?

Either that, or let's step it up and have all trains be monorails. One or the other people!

Overheard During Carpool

Her: And so the guy from the 99 cent store was on the radio, and he was talking about how he had to raise his prices due to inflammation.
Him: Did you just say inflammation? Do you mean inflation?
Her: Sure.

Smash Mouth

I used to think the lyrics for "All-Star" were:

" All that's living is gold. Only shooting stars rain from mold."

Man I'm dumb.

Jake and Amir

Headache from Amir on Vimeo.

Glue Sticks

Please somebody, today, at your job, at home, ANYWHERE...

PLEASE say out loud "Where is my glue stick!?".


That is all.

The New Gabe Dixon Album

Overheard After The Nike+ Run

Girl: "So I crossed the finish line and it just came out."
Guy: "Wait what?"
Girl: "I crossed the finish line and pissed. It just all came out. Like a flowing river."
Guy: Silence

Overheard in the office.

Overworked: "Sometimes I get home so late I just have to give dinner the finger, and go workout instead."

Jake and Amir

Nantucket from Amir on Vimeo.

Overheard by an Elevator

Girl: "You know what I think?"
Guy: "What?"
Girl: "While, I think that ADD is a disorder, I think that OCD is more a gift. It keeps me organized."
Guy: "Wow"

Commentary

One is not allowed to drive a BMW, IN Beverly Hills AND blast Nickelback.

That just doesn't work. At all.

Just trying to keep the world classy.

One more addage.

Also, people should start incorporating old Milton Bradley game phrases into their everyday life.

Examples:

"I'm going to hit you in the dining room with a candlestick." (Clue)

"Has anyone seen my silver dog?" (Monopoly)

"Sorry" (Sorry)

You just can't use anything from the game Risk. Just watch.

"I'm going to conquer your Great Britain with a battalion of horses and trebuchets."

See...it doesn't work.

Adding Words

Add the word "mayonnaise" to your daily life. Just do it.

Trust me, using the word mayonnaise out of it's rightful context will:

A. Probably make people cringe
and/or
B. Make people cringe.

ex: That shirt looks like a sack of relish mayonnaise.